Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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