Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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