I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Come on in and take your pants off
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