He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize