turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
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I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
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Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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