There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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