My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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