Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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