I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You're like the curious george of whores
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
