how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize
