So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
