just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
