god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
