i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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