Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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