Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
