NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
