God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
