This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
