Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
