Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
