judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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