It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
