i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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