woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She announced her abortion via fbk
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
