Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
