how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
