it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
