Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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