She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
