my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
