Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
