She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
