Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
