A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
