i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
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What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
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i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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