I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
