some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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