turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
