I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
