Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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