He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize