goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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