remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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