it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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