She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
