omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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