so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
