Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
