i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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