I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm at about main and main street
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
