you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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