haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
