Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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