he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
