did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
