She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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