Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
