You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
