if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
