To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
