Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
we're so committed to being not committed
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize